Will your perfect size and weight bring happiness?

Learning to love the skin I'm in and being happy as I do,

not tomorrow or in the future,

but in the

NOW.  

I went to Good Will today and whilst I was there, I purchased a book that was written by Bob Greene, (Oprah Winfrey's ex personal trainer.)  The title of the book quite clearly tells the reader to "Get with the program!"   After seeing Bob Greene in Oprah's Make the Connection Video, I totally fell in love with his sense of humor and ability to push via his use of words, words like
 "If you say you want it, then why don't you have it? Why indeed?

Bob Greene says that there are five crucial steps that can help you maintain your weight and your life:   (Hmmm weight and life together, confirms that you really need to heal the issues that caused you to be fat in the first place.)

1. Have a clear vision of what you want. "Picture your life the way you want it," Bob says. "You could even be the most motivated person on the planet. If you don't have a vision for yourself, your motivation will take you somewhere away from the vision that you want for your life."

Also, make sure your vision is realistic. "If you're 5'4" and you want to be 6'1", have a different vision," he says. "In your heart, you need to know that you can achieve it."

2. Convince yourself that you are deserving. Bob says it's critical to break down this barrier. "[People] feel unworthy because that was reinforced growing up by either an unsupportive adult or authority figure,” Bob says. “You're reconfirming [that] by sabotaging your own efforts.”

3. Identify the biggest barriers holding you back. Bob says there's a big difference between a barrier and an excuse. "I've heard every excuse imaginable—except a good one," he says. "A barrier is more of an issue."

"We all have a natural aversion to discomfort and pain, and that's the irony on both exercise and diet. You don't want to give up. There's some discomfort giving up your favorite foods," he says. "If you're doing exercise right, you have a level of discomfort to get results. And we are wired to avoid discomfort and seek pleasure."

4. Break through the barriers. Bob says the only way to break through a barrier is to identify what's holding you back. "You have barriers for a reason. They're coping mechanisms in many cases," he says. "So many people think getting on the treadmill or turning down your favorite foods is the hard part. That's the easy part. It's these issues and barriers of unworthiness—or being in a toxic relationship is a top one."

Breaking through takes courage, but the benefits could last a lifetime. "I've never seen anyone successful long term that couldn't make at least one or more tough decisions," he says.

5. Put yourself first. "Another way to say that is, 'Get the support you need,'" he says. "It's getting the people in your life on board."

Bob says parents struggle with this the most and too many use their children as an excuse not to make themselves a priority. "What parent would [tell her child], 'Don't take care of yourself?' That's the message your kids are learning," he says. "Putting yourself first is not selfish. It's a way to become a more profound role model for children and those in your life."
So, it's really not surprising that in his book I expected to find some more of his words of weight loss and exercise wisdom, that I could add with all the other tools that I'm using to help me to get to goal and ultimately stay there.  My expectations were realized, as I flicked through the pages and the words that quickly caught my eyes. " Do you believe that once you reach a certain size or weight, you'll be happy?" 


Think about it, because I sure did, because it's a simple but  Good question and one that Bob him self answers Bob >>>>>>> "When I hear a yes to that question, it automatically sends up a red flag."


Reason # 1. Because if you never reach that weight and size, you won't be Happy.


Reason # 2. If you do reach it, after a while you'll realize that there is absolutely nothing to do with your happiness.

In a nutshell, you have to be happy right where you are, in the now

Thankfully I adapted that way of thinking, as 2011drew to a close determined that 2012 would find me ready to take better care of myself, appearance wise, (meaning dress wise) physically, (meaning, weight diet and exercise) Emotionally, (meaning, dealing with issues that have caused me to have low self esteem) Mentally, (meaning dealing with negative talk, doubts etc) Spiritually (meaning closer relationship to and with God) in short I am doing a complete make over inside and out.

So i started buying clothes, shoes and accessories. I also started going out with friends, and allowing myself to enjoy my own company and space.  And after a awful breakup in 2011 I also decided to give myself time to heal and more importantly fall in love with me and truly get to know myself again, before I begin a new relationship.

Not for nothing but I don't want another man to say that he loves me just the way I am, with me feeling oh so grateful that he does. Nope sirree, I want to be able to say OK that's kool because it would be tough on you if you didn't because I LOVE ME JUST THE WAY I AM.

I am a work in progress! and what I've learned since the beginning of the year is that weight is only part of it, even so whilst I would love to be able to say that I am So there already, i can' say it yet because I don't love my fat self, I'm hurt by it, lack confidence, and suffer low self esteem because of it. but where I have made progress is by accepting that WAITING, to be slim before I buy clothes is stupid, waiting till I don't have a double chin to wear make up is stupid. and waiting for my shoe size to shrink, before I can wear nice shoes is stupid, all of which I have been guilty of in the past.

I know that it all seems really gloomy right now in terms of what I'm writing, but to thy own self be true and so here it is, me being true.

Oprah Winfrey once said, that if there was a quick way to be slim she would be it, she would have found it, bought it and owned it, but there isn't, the only way to get there is to find out what's underneath all the fat, what's hurting.

So if I were to answer Bob Greene, my answer would be, BOB, I'd be HAPPIER!